Tuesday, June 1, 2010


I don't look sick.
My illnesses aren't easily seen from the outside. I like it that way. I like to hide it and pretend to be normal. Sympathy makes me uncomfortable and so does being around people who know that I'm sick. I'm not sure what bothers me more, thinking about how "inferior" I am to normal healthy people, or worrying about what they think about me. Both of those are bad. I know that but I still find myself doing it ALL the time. And now that I have been approved for disability I feel even more self-conscious of how other think of me. Are they thinking "She looks fine to me!" or "She is just fat and lazy not disabled!!". Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about most of the time.

God doesn't want me or you to worry about stuff like that. I wish I could just press a button and never feel that way but it doesn't work that way. So instead of wishing for a magic button I am doing a lot of praying to overcome this....

But he said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

God Bless! Denise